What Really Happened

The evening started out with my jumping into a general militia fleet. I hardly recognized anyone in the fleet, which usually tells me it’s probably a scrub fleet that’s going to end in disaster. I decided to jump around with them, and maybe ninja some killmails and loot.

Well, the fleet went from bad to worse. The fc was new, so I give him some credit for trying. However he seemed more interested in lecturing us then actually engaging the enemy. He complained for nearly thirty minutes about the length of time people were taking to get to the pos. “It’s not that hard! It should not be taking people this long!” He threatened to start kicking people from fleet, etc.

We endure this for quite some time, and finally get a little group gathered up. The fc suddenly announced a bio break. Several people left the fleet in exasperation right then and there.

After a while of walzing, and some hurt feelings on the part of the current fc, another fc took over. He was completely the opposite. He yelled at how horrible people were. He was extremely loud. My ears are still throbbing. But, he let me borrow a scimitar to fly in the fleet. I never say no to free ships.

However, I was still bored and cranky. I thought about stealing the scimitar. I thought about going GCC on a gate ‘by accident.’ I thought about accidentally leroying into the enemy.

I almost left fleet many times. Most of the people I usually fly with did. They couldn’t deal with it anymore.  

I started trolling. Not the usual ‘you fail at life’ trolling, but becoming what I hated most in fail pvpers, to provoke annoyance from the fc. I warped to gates instead of aligning. I went afk on gates for bio breaks and told the fleet ‘not to let me die.’ (Mind you, I was in a borrowed scimitar.) I even got ‘lost’ at one point and wondered aimlessly from system to system until someone linked a destination and yelled the next gate over and over.

I asked really dumb questions in fleet. What does this word mean? How do I do this? The fc would link a destination and I’d ask where we’re going. He’d explain a ‘plan’ and I’d ask what we were doing. My scheming worked. He, and everyone in the fleet became quite exasperated with me, and I could only laugh. They told me I was fail. They said “honestly, someone else should be in the scimitar.” Then, when ever someone would ask me to do something, or go somewhere I’d reply “Are you sure? I’m pretty fail.”

I decided to spruce things up a bit, and maybe get us a fight, so I started chatting with someone in the ‘enemy’ fleet. I encouraged him to round up his militia to come after us. Back when I was in militia before, it was not uncommon for us to chat with the ‘enemy’ and inform them of where we were and what we were doing. Sometimes, it was the only way to encourage them to come fight us. I suppose some of the Minmatar in my fleet might get cranky with me for sharing intel. Sometimes, you have to give the enemy a nudge!

Once our scouts got a whiff of the enemy, it was game over. We were supposedly ‘outshipped’ and ‘outmanned.’ I agreed on the ‘outshipped’ part, but my contact clearly told us that we outnumbered them significantly. You see, the whole ‘sharing of intel’ thing sometimes works both ways. They want to pew pew too.

Needless to say, we ran like little children. “You’re freaking them out. They’re running.” I told my contact. He even took his fleet back to ship down so that maybe we would engage. I informed my fc that they were shipping down, but he didn’t believe me. He didn’t know I was talking to them, and I didn’t really want to tell him because he was making me mad. We ran and docked. Even when they came in smaller ships, no one wanted to pvp anymore. There was talk of a ‘spy’ in fleet. Spies always make people jumpy and scared and freaked out. I’m not sure why…I think they get us fights. I like to fight.

In a last effort to keep the fleet together and provoke an engagement, I leaked the name of our fc. He was promptly contacted and harassed, hopefully to spurn retaliation. He just went off in fleet about the spy telling the enemy who the fc was. I’m not sure how it makes a difference…he’s sitting safely in a station. Doh. I just want to pvp!

Well, our blob broke up, people leaving fleet in droves. The fc and a few others decided to take the remaining fragments and go to 0.0. Oh, this should be good. I was really mad at this point. I basically got us a fun brawl on a silver platter and the fc was too idiotic to see past the end of his nose. If he wasn’t so loud, I’d have probably told him so. I’m pretty sure I hinted.

So I went with them to 0.0. At first I only almost went. I got in a ship, and turned around and went home. Then I heard something about a bs on the gate in the 0.0 entrance system. Maybe I could ninja a kill before we all died. So I started out again. In a griffin. It was the only fit, tech 1 frigate I could find in my hangar. It’s probably been there for years.

I tried to dig up dirt on the fc to troll him with. To my surprise, he had really good stats on the killboard. Surely he bought his toon! I looked, but could find no evidence of a purchase. Well, oh well then. Maybe he’s not as bad as I thought. Even annoying people can be good pvpers, right? The fleet was kind of thrust upon him, and they were really fail. Most of what he was saying and yelling was true.

We got ourselves a fight in 0.0 pretty quickly. Having only 5-6 pilots, we were outnumbered and outshipped. I was in a tech 1 frigate. We had a couple other frigates. A couple cruisers. We were attacked by some BCs, a cynabal, a falcon, and some others. This was not going to go well! But we did it anyway.

We killed one of their BCs. Then, I jammed the falcon in my griffin. Yeah, you heard me right. I jammed a FALCON, in a GRIFFIN. With multispecs no less. I didn’t even fit racial jammers. We killed the falcon. My jam was just enough to free up some people to shoot him. We killed the cynabal. I’m pretty sure they were mad. One of them swore at us in local. Things got a little hotter a while later, and we needed to get out. A couple of us were caught, including me. I jammed the ship tackling me and warped out in structure. The others got away as well, just burning and using common sense.

Okay, so we didn’t die in a fire. And maybe the fc wasn’t as fail as I thought he was. I usually don’t like to judge people on first impressions, and he kind of inherited a fail-mess earlier. I think it’s a little early to tell either way, but I might fly with him again. I might actually bring a real ship and not fail on purpose next time.

On the way home, I was informed that I was ‘pro’ for jamming a falcon in my tech 1 frigate. Can’t have none of that now! I shrugged and told them that I just click everything frantically…and sometimes good things happen.